lisra’s broken mirror

strapped to the doubt
embracing anything which
oozes from the screen

morning glow blocked out
when my feet touch the pavement
it’s still dark outside

26.10.07

stillness and the covers warmth
night’s darkness like another blanket
this place should be so cosy
yet it’s often place for pain
in the moments before sleep takes me
thoughts unwind
memories unfold
and everything they do is hurt.

I’ll never call it a dream again
’cause dreams as whises
never come true
but for the pity life I hold
I want this to come true.

black cloth the shelter
covering up what was in the past
wounded so often
no slowly healing
yet unaware of recent smiles
with sickness of my body the
shrieks are getting louder again
demanding a prize for a moment of peace
and I should walk now
let them remain their and blindly
hunt my shadow yet
at this time of night there is
not enough strength to walk away
wings are restless
won’t flap in anger
just standing in blackness
wearing it
to protect this fragile skin
to protect hope
are you there as well
somewhere in all this
if I’d just run
would I find you
listening for footseps and watching the moon
I think I know
but as much as it protects
it restricts
feeling suffocation
can’t scream the voices down

distanced from it
they say it’s supposed to help
this talking
when you just tug hard enough
this foil around a soul
might just come loose.

all just a cover
some people know
to hide and to push away
reality
or something
and I’m not even certain
of that.

Interesting why this isn’t posted yet. Maybe I thought it was too private. Then again what isn’t here? And as I read it again I realize it isn’t clear who I am adressing. That’s good. Really. Because if someone feels spoken to, they are (quite possibly).

29.9.07

watching from the place I was banished to
the place where I belong
the movents you all make a screenplay somedays
I find it difficult to find my role
yet it’s easy to spot
who fucks up the script
not only breaks parts
but the actors behind it
their souls are masks
and they die with their role
of wings of selcusion
I glide above
and my heart is with all of them
the figures in my life
those who matter
looking from this place
I see you breaking apart
and I’m away
was send there
but your tears make me say it again
call me and I’m there
for you and for all
black wings will cover you
bury the pain under them
and if that’s what you want
I’ll kill everyone who stands between
you and peaceful sleep .

See picture attached. I had it in mind among other things while writing this.

15.10.07

staring blankly ahead
her eyes have given up
surrendered to the dark

her feet are cold and wet
those stones she corssoes
leave tiny scratches and cuts
yet not a sound comes across her lips
her mind is held elsewhere

this nightwalk takes her to a bridge
it’s vast bulk grimy and even
colder than her skin

the stream beyond catches her
empty gaze of blindness

her fragile hands grasp the banister
no regards to the moon as she jumps

there’s no pain as she dies
her body was already numb
the eyes
closed and sold
because there was nothing worth seeing

7.10.07

staring into an unfinished dream
waiting for something to move
for you to move
I can’t supress the fear
the doubts
because that what always blossoms
no matter what seeds were used.
What do you mean
how do you feel
why aren’t we talking
why are we using
a language made of verses and numbers
why
why
aren’t you in my arms
or be it more precise
when the lights go out
why do we feel alone?

9.10.07

crush
is it compelled
a lie
gasoline in water
so it just has to burn?

drawn
is it forced
to turn out
this shape
pencil lined heart.

I think everyone has one once in a while.

—-

7.10.07

nighttime
moon forms an ugly eclipse
issuing a call

just a bad case of nerves