thesis about fear and noxious substances
far stretched and incomprehensible
when your head feels like
it’s filled with lead all the surface of your desk
does is looking like the plains in front of
a dull horizon so blurred
by the dust swirling in your head.
saliva drips and it feels like your bleeding
when you wake up what you gonna tell her
hold up the sign of hypocrisy
you used to burn.
with the closure
and with the entry of sleep’s black pit
all the senses unite
heart and mind join hands
and tell of fear
the fear of loosing.
clousummer II
commerce hug
one day in july some time after the end
I heard this voice over the phone
a call to go outside again
into the glittering world
you feel gloomy then come to us
you need distraction then come to us
you seek for something then come to us
we give you this warm commerce hug
we are cheaper than drugs
with him by my side we glared at the lights
amazed by the flatness of the hope
so many put into everything
once inside a mall
you feel gloomy then come to us
you need distraction then come to us
you seek for something then come to us
we give you this warm commerce hug
we are cheaper than drugs
nothing we needed eneded up in our bags
nothing we cared for was seen
yet things became ours and money theirs
the equation feels wrong
you feel gloomy then come to us
you need distraction then come to us
you seek for something then come to us
we give you this warm commerce hug
we are cheaper than drugs
forced again
[spoken]
we’ve seen an end
but now we’re forced together
again
[Instrumental]
wars
we sat there
needed what we had so long ago
but all we did was fighting wars
differences and idiosyncratic gloom
shades of grey and stupid tears
exchanged insults instead of warmth
was it what we wanted then?
we sat there
needed what we had so long ago
but all we did was fighting wars
your life kept falling apart and took you with it
I was trapped in the same old cages
it seemed as if there was no friendship
and no communication anywhere
we sat there
needed what we had so long ago
but all we did was fighting wars
wars made it simple
they gave us a target
sucked out energy
focused anger
was it worth it
what we wanted
we sat there
needed what we had so long ago
but all we did was fighting wars
all those stupid wars
so stupid wars
and just like any major war
it was suddenly over
and like soldiers in a cease fire
we sat together again
in peace.
cloudsummer I
six related lyrics. first three now posted.
——-
yet another end
when oaths and vows are made
solemly under a shining star
everyone secetly knows
they are lying
and all promises can be broken
if one just wants
at the verge of summer, of the great divide
we face yet another end again
this day forever marks
yet another end
people carry one another
and they call this love
people clench and crawl together
but won’t call this love
when things get hazy
bridges suddenly seem like stacks of cards
and pillars crumble
they might call it love
might
at the verge of summer, of the great divide
we face yet another end again
this day forever marks
yet another end
things ended as they shouldn’t
with tears and all the like
two people hurt and the true reasons buried among shame
yet another end
yet another end
trailling behind together
they don’t know
we won’t tell them now
we look at one another
see only cracks
can’t seem to remember the glow
the warmth
do you remember when we all went to the village
chased by boredom and pain
they all went in front of us
the wind carried their chattering
we were trailling behind together
not knowing what to do
we get messages from distant friends
seek distraction upfront
yet our step is almost in unison
we’ve seen the end yet still we’re here
I don’t know about you
but I was all gloom
a teenage shade
do you remember when we all went to the village
chased by boredom and pain
they all went in front of us
the wind carried their chattering
we were trailling behind together
not knowing what to do
listening
a modern virtue
a mysteria to some
the essential bit
the glue for thoughts
when you talked
it seemed like I wasn’t listening
when I talked
it seemed you weren’t listening
no one was listening
it was all in vain
18.11.07 – night
dawn announces itself
sunbeams creeping in
they touch cold flesh
dried blood
they greet closed eyes
expressing
everything’s fine now.
18.11.07
at the verge of consciousness
liquid poison pushes
perception against a wall
fingers scratching for hold
sight blurry and twisting
I find myself apologizing
small and freezing on the floor
the emptiness it should bring
wasn’t there
it all became worse
you can’t drown sorrow
but you can drown
so easily.
kitsch
11.11.07
after a long walk through the cold dark
light and warmth can come as a shock
and with wide eyes one might stare
in nothing but incomphrehension.
when live first gave me hope and love after I buried several hopes in cold earth
I could barly understand
that it had happened
and why
why me
why this miserable thing in the mirror
why me
and when I started to accept
it broke away
but that’s a told story
though it still hurts sometimes
it’s gone
when you told me your dream came true
I smiled
because the love I’d started to feel could finally grow in light
and not in a shaded corner
but like I did
you need to accept
that life has given you something good
and we can enjoy it
together.
10.11.07
circle dance
things I say
meant to be tender
appear as taunts
spikes forgotten
may hurt suddenly
forgive
things I say
because I never leared
about consequences
only about
sudden agony
in them
and me
I wish
it’ll never be
you
then me
in this circle.
moving around a certainty
based on nothing else but words
and feelings
fullfilling this call
because I believe
like I did in goddesses before
but sometimes love is propaganda
in it’s careless television sleep
the sleeper needs a reminder
constantly
pictures staring at him
so he may never forget
when his brain acts out of turn
and his heart feels lonly
so in ignorance and pain
I might ask you soon
are you there
do you love me
ignore it
there is no doubt
temporarly distorted views
just say yes
it will be fine
seeds need water
trust needs talking if
there can’t be any touch
for a while.
