leaving
just a silhouette I leave behind
the broken mass of towers
and all the grey undying trees between
the city’s polished streets
first time I hardly felt a thing
didn’t know what i was doing
or what to expect
now my eyes have seen much more
I know what to expect
independence
going back to unexpected treasures
into a life of many shells
going back to newfound pleasures
into so many different hells
turning eyes away
what is there to say
language is a shield
silence is to yield
rotten discipline
deprivation, sleep
always staying thin
never carving deep
just a little bit longer
it seems its necessary
to cringe when reading, seeing
and afterwards remembering
remembering so well
wheres the knife to stab
straight into the memory
right I gave it away
and what a good thing too
or so it seems
reflecting on silence
seldom turns out good
a matter of trust
in yourself or others
indeed
either happiness or pain
they say ignorance is bliss
they’re lying
I dream because I need more light
to find out again, remember,
the things I thought I’d lost.
I catch glimpses of you
but I will not look around
not again, I’ve looked too often
tired repetition.
I dream because I crave again
the warmth of someone close
will lie back and close my eyes
let the dream go on.
the shallow pain EP – II
Beautiful
mirror keeps on lying
and you keep on defying
scraping off the crust
the normal body rust
people say you’re beautiful
they listen when you cry
people say you’re beautiful
can someone tell me why?
your skin on your sleave
the inside hollowed out
when youth takes it’s leave
can you cope with the doubt
people say you’re beautiful
they listen when you cry
people say you’re beautiful
can someone tell me why?
never said an honest word
never really cried
never accepted other lifes
never formed a thought
people say you’re beautiful
they listen when you cry
people say you’re beautiful
can someone tell me why?
the shallow pain EP – I
I have an imaginary band. I call it “the wicked parliament” and they make good music – at least inside my head. Guess most people have something like this. This is some of the stuff I made for it, out of the usual reasons, boredom and such.
It’s all from about June last year.
http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/1173/shallowpainyx9.jpg
morningrise
langsam geht die Sonne auf
niemand der dir sagt
ob dir das Licht gefallen muss
jeden Tag dasselbe
seelenlose Prozeder
niemand außer dir allein
gibt jedem Morgen seinen Sinn
niemand außer dir
steh endlich auf.
nightfall
the sky so wide
suffocating clouds
in another place
a foreign place
but the dust you breathe
is the same everywhere
small things give security
a feeling of home
but not for long
a shame
but just another step
down the path.
them fears
Apologies for a haphazard rythm, it was improvised.
—-
now I’m lying still in bed
darkness all around
thoughts keep moving in my head
they form a pulsing mess
they speak of memories and regret
the future and the past
they show my pictures, sing me songs
but it all comes down to fear
the fear alone within the dark
the fear of hurting her
the fear of loosing all I know
the fear of lost control
the fear of dying all alone
the fear lost in a crowd
the fear of the disease
sleep might push it all away
or invite it in
a gamble we all have to take
night and night again
——
now all I need is a better singing voice.
