the shallow pain EP – I
I have an imaginary band. I call it “the wicked parliament” and they make good music – at least inside my head. Guess most people have something like this. This is some of the stuff I made for it, out of the usual reasons, boredom and such.
It’s all from about June last year.
http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/1173/shallowpainyx9.jpg
morningrise
langsam geht die Sonne auf
niemand der dir sagt
ob dir das Licht gefallen muss
jeden Tag dasselbe
seelenlose Prozeder
niemand außer dir allein
gibt jedem Morgen seinen Sinn
niemand außer dir
steh endlich auf.
Some (well 2 of the 4 people reading this^^) may remember that I had a separate blog for stuff written in german. For no other reason than me being to lazy to delete the other I’ll return to this. So when you are reading this blog, please check http://blutscherbenregen.wordpress.com/ for my german exploits. Thanks.
sick
Stillness. Keeping still was important. Any move reminded him of the reason why he lay. Not that a reminder was necessary, the idle thoughts circulating through his head did little else but whisper taunts. That it wasn’t that bad. That it was just an excuse not to do anything else. That he was weak. Movement kept the thoughts away but it also hurt. So he just lay there, slowly going numb, listening to the insults from within.
nightfall
the sky so wide
suffocating clouds
in another place
a foreign place
but the dust you breathe
is the same everywhere
small things give security
a feeling of home
but not for long
a shame
but just another step
down the path.
them fears
Apologies for a haphazard rythm, it was improvised.
—-
now I’m lying still in bed
darkness all around
thoughts keep moving in my head
they form a pulsing mess
they speak of memories and regret
the future and the past
they show my pictures, sing me songs
but it all comes down to fear
the fear alone within the dark
the fear of hurting her
the fear of loosing all I know
the fear of lost control
the fear of dying all alone
the fear lost in a crowd
the fear of the disease
sleep might push it all away
or invite it in
a gamble we all have to take
night and night again
——
now all I need is a better singing voice.
wondering
ever wondering
because it is late
because times are tough
because it hurts deep inside
what I should say
is what I see
what is there
no it is not
the ego leeching again
ignore yourself
look through the sameish eyes
to realize
i shut out all light
lying in bed
is swimming in pitch
images like bubbles
on and below the surface
I see it all in circles
getting mixed, a nightmare soup
meyoushehetheyit
and nothing happens until sleep
in this black mess
because it wouldn’t flow out like blood
anyway
