November 29, 2006 at 9:22 pm (poem)

Done a few minutes ago.

Why does it has to happen?
Why always when
everything is fine?

There is just one single line
and I pick it up
twist it this way and that
and cut myself
even if it has neither lines
or barbs or splinters.

And so I stare
at the blood on my hands
confused why it’s there
and the smlie fades away.


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service II – what I did on a single day ^^

November 29, 2006 at 7:56 pm (poem)

13.10.06 – a day full of… weird inspiration.

the dance

It’s all like a dance
an continous changing pattern
people fit together, pieces changes and break apart
even the world around the dancers is never the same
and it’s possible
for two matching pieces to fall because the ground
suddenly grew a barrier
a carrier, a law in a plastic bag
a sentence in a tome
as a sequence of disharmony
it’s only purpose to hurt one’s ears
and the two will break apart
crash to the ground
cut themselves an the floor
break the wings
and lie still
until the hatefull dance might pick them up again
and one day
the sun and moon might break
and god might come around
the angels might dance
the devil plays guitar
and the dance will be a farce
a comedy event
and when all the painfull laws will be gone
the archangel hands you a drink
offers you a hand
leads you along to the figure who fell along side you
and there will be another chance
to enjoy a dance
while eveything goes to hell with a cheer
and god enjoys a wodka.


great times

It’s all about a kick
all about the feeling of superiority
all about alcohol
not to different from the dance
execpt we dance this one
in dark clothes, boots and stealthy gear
hear one another through a commlink
and sneak about
climbing walls
running through alleys
enjoying the view from a roof
avoiding caretakers and passers by
even the police
and when we saw the new years eve early rockets rise
on the rooftop of our old school
we felt like gods among ants
because we saw them fifteen meters closer than anyone around
because we managed the obstacles
and months later
we ran from the angry occupant
and felt glorious
althogh we are nothing more
than petty criminals.


changing the subject
it feels like changing the ammo in your gun
like choosing another shirt
but is it not like lying to yourself
to the one you are talking to?
or is it some kind of angst
a self preservation instinct
a running away from the dragons of causality
the fear to spread your own wings
to abandon the dance and fly away
but even so
the things you are running from
will return
because they are inside you
and you can’t run away from yourself
you have to meet the dragon
glance at the fangs
feel it’s breath
and than you’ll see
it’s possible to use your wings
and outfly the dragon
with accpetnace on your lips
a sealed away secret
a accpeted emotion
and as the ammunition slides away
you are capaple to tell
and someone else
and either enjoy a dance
or leave the party
it adds up the same.


A difficult thing my friend
is to accept a very plain fact
other people are also people
wheter you hate or love them
while you watch them, they watch you
thinking for themselves
and it’s not only your path that matters
because they have their own
and you should not interfere
even if it hurts.

the only oises
a disharmony
in agony
a reappearing terror
a creeping voice
a neglected choice
somebody stop my mind
my imagination is mad
an asylum the world
a nurse no lines
the curse in thoughts
the cure far away
a wild craving to reach out
as if everything that’s out of joint
might focus again
might change back to something bearable
if there could be just one embrace.


how to overcome
the absence of words
it’s something obvious
you can’t stay forever
life itself is in the way
but glory be
someone ate the logic
spat upon the remains
and is munching the dessert right now
so to hell with it!
why fight?
Accept it as a part of yourself
and desire openly
and praise the saint
who’d probably deny any sanctiety.

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service I

November 29, 2006 at 7:53 pm (poem)

‘specially for a friend, more poems…


spot – aim – fire
creeping up
check for life
make sure it’s dead
follow the the path
whatever it’s shaped
I bear her words in my mind
it’s not just a plead
it’s a something more for me
and I vow
and when I see
all the nasty things next to the path
I’ll simply walk on
there’s a target, a goal
not to fail
not to fall
not to drown
no matter how much it rains
like the song says.



Stand back
we are not dead
don’t intend to die
the gods and godesses in flesh and bone
spreading wings in wonderment
everyone’s hands stretched out
holding someone else
the wall of angels
still alive and back in the force
no need of drink and drink and drink and fight
everythig’s allright
I’m gonna be just fine
we are not alone
the music will go on and on and one
a different song
the same theme
same people
other threads
other challenges and different pasts
no gun to the hand
no army on the force
no fiend in the pit
just the sveven sleeping sins
a spread of wings
the journey to the sky



It’s done, once, twice and things did not change
yet anyway
and there’s no feeling of releief
no magic outbreak in telling
just another blow to the ehad
to the heart
awkward tension
in the end
are we doomed to repeat?
The last mistakes equal the next?
Fuck it
thank you
I love you all.

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November 28, 2006 at 4:36 pm (rant, Uncategorized)


The glorius sum I’d have to pay for my sins before entering heaven.

Although I doubt the’d want me in there… or something.


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November 27, 2006 at 7:16 pm (poem)

It can happen so fast
a passed remark
and it all just happens
heartbeat rises
red in the face
tensing the body
ready to fight
silence the prey
the hard way
the only one visible.

And seconds later
everything’S still warm
the mind snaps back
and there’s no target
the rage is pointless
your own fault
your own temper
and the blood all alone
continues to boil.

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November 23, 2006 at 10:09 pm (poem)

early morning fear
the light’s warm on my face
way too ineffective
it makes me realize
how cold my cheek ist.

lunch time rage
not red in the face
but burning inside
I wish I didn’t care
but I do.

early morning fear
turning into late, dark ansgt
as I wander the streets
my mind can’t rest
looking for a sactuary.

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November 22, 2006 at 4:54 pm (Uncategorized)

Two songs, written for the band native hero and posted for Sera, a friend.


Good morning sweet sister
getting along on your way to hell?
Turned away from your past mistakes
feel free to tell.

No guidelines – no morale
run away from the rules
see the punishmeant ahead
cry your ‘why’
fake to redeem
and continue to run.

Good morning sweet sister
getting along on your way to hell?
Turned away from your past mistakes
feel free to tell.

Slept well sweet sister
thought about the past?
Accept your former masters rage
ignore them, live, act your age
there’s no need for servitude
but until you realize
feel free to stay

Good morning sweet sister
getting along on your way to hell?
Turned away from your past mistakes
feel free to tell.



If life was a garden
it would be on fire now
the sorry inhabitants
dying in the flames

We’ve kicked up the fire
and now we can’t breathe
I’ve sworn to the world I love you
and now I just want to leave

Stumbling through the sea of heat
and you are out of sight
is there a point in struggling
our ashes will glow at night

We’ve kicked up the fire
and now we can’t breathe
I’ve sworn to the world I love you
and now I just want to leave


Flames have settled down
coffing and wounded – but I’m alive
and through the swirling mist
I realize
what I gripped in fear
was nothing but your hand
and you are still alive

We’ve kicked up the fire
but we can still breathe
I’ve sworn to the flames I love you
and there’s nothing else to do
than walking on
never leaving your side

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November 21, 2006 at 2:07 pm (Uncategorized)

Nothings like it seems to be
the old black night
sometimes turns bright
and at the moment
my conscience put the sword aside
and walks quietly along
a pillow under the arm and a candle in hand
it’s light glowing like a distant star
a long way away
but never too far.

dedicated to no saint at all.

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creativity clash

November 19, 2006 at 2:42 pm (poem)

in misery
in constant fear
from empathy to apathy
a hard decree
which I can’t see
a falling down
a smile to a frown
and the nagging feeling
that all’s false
because it never was this way
I should have never doubted
but if it’s so
why am I mad
why am I sad
why is this voice screaming inside me
why can’t you silence it once and for all?


what are they for?
Just hanging there as if they where painted
and for us small people
so incredible meaningless.
Are you a star?
So far away
so shrouded in darkness
too far to reach
and possibly to cold to touch?
You are no star
but if you was
there would be no point
in living on earth.


a small volcano
everyone close in
dies by eruption time
no difference
no friend or foe
just people around
everyone get’s it
everyone dies in a blaze
and the remaining volcano
dies all by himself
the fire lost.
It won’t come to that
or will it one day?

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November 18, 2006 at 9:32 pm (poem)

Today is going to be hell
tomorrow will be hell too
I always think things that kill me
eventually silence my soul
not just for a second and it never dissapears
the ice looks cold and so do you my dear
but it’s just the way you look.

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