June 30, 2007 at 11:35 am (poem)

15.06.07

staring into the moving green
the parapet carries my weight
the wall supports my back
sky pours along with it’s blue
distinct and divided.
I feel the unrest as I stare
sympathy for all those leaves
and I murmur to myself
nothing has happened
but in my heart and soul it all moves on
these moments of vulnerability
and I see myself
I am not breathing
yet with another gust I’m back
and I go away
to tell the tale again

———-

19.06.07

too far I went
again
again
no remorse until
told how it felt
and things considered
It’s simple to say
it’s a flaw
it’s stuck
it’s me
never knowing
until told
never able to see
consequences when
lost in the frey
even though
I could never deliberatly
hurt you
so what now
tell me
help me
there’s a face reflected
on the steel and
I hate it so much
when I’m told
what I said
it never stops
can’t stand
the thought of me
doing this
to you again

———–

20.06.07

afternoon sky slowly breeding a storm
pressing heat
thoughts move different right now
somewhat reassured
although I’m alone at this time.
Memories keep on biting me
it was just hours ago
I was by your side holding your hand
running from fear so fast
I almost reached the void of crying
bu yes it’s still good
I see you and I feel what is right
right there in my heart
and if it wouldn’t hurt you more then me
I’d carve your name across my chest
so I could never forget
that it’s not just me you love me as well
and if I feel pain it’s a reminder
that my feelings are true
and I will not let
my past inflict
damage on this
what’s with yours
that’s for you to decide I guess
you know where I am
it’s by your side.

———–

21.06.07

roses staring at me
reminding me of what I found in the white
but even things that save yourself
can be hurt and damaged
sad smile on my face as I do
the only thing I really can
being there but not close
to the wall, to the protecting wings
to all the things I want to be for you
weakness and helplessness
it drives me insane
I’ll wipe away your tears
just give me hands and fingers to do so.

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