retro

April 4, 2014 at 10:03 pm (poem)

today a radio played an old song
send me against the wall
trapped me in nostalgia
so much welling up inside
feelings of romance and fright
memries good and bad but right
from the well they vanish to inside.

the past is just this hole which keeps on
growing all the time and then collapses
in upon itself and births
another you

the you today, the me I am
has lost connection to the things that were
but when this music trigged
memory cascade
it feels so close again

it’s not quite like regret or sadness
or romantic longing for dreams and hopes
ambitions, goals and gains that never were
and never came
like a sweetness that once was entangled
in another universe with spider webs
of jarring “well what if”‘s
which in the end is meaningless cos
the only actual happiness lies in the present
and those to come

so all this queer confusion
is the sign of a life that went on
is going on
and will turn out alright
with wounds and smiles intil the end
myriads of more what ifs
we’ll never comprehend
and that’s just fine

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