self promotion
If you speak german, i wrote sth on my deserted german blog:
and yes, the title of said blog is literally “rain of bloodstained shards”. I was 17 once!
answered
in confinement
questions came
liberation
they survived
will the captors go
yes
they’re gone
will another path emerge
yes, two
to stay as one
will the blaze
leave more than ashes
yes
thirst
friday
yeah so what has changed my man
well check what I’ve become
yet move back, look up, take it in
is really all that new?
still in black, still hide your face
still wandering; still wondering
if their looks excite or are unwanted
still the same grey sea
but the city has shrunk somehow
concrete waves no longer break my back
it may be me that has grown
but is it really
ride down the stairs look sideways sharp
see the hood winking back
face fuller, eyes darker, hair longer
with a ring tougher than steel
much has changed then
today was all alone on the streets
but now there’s something
a home with more than just reflections
so yeah not all has changed my man
but enough to make myself grow further
make the sky unfreeze and break
any walls that might still hold
me back from keeping happiness
Do you still..
smog can’t leave and chokes the streets
it sure is November
when I drove through the cold
I couldn’t help but remember
You said it just happens
been like it for years
But more years have since past
Do you still cry at christmas?
Have the ghosts all been silent
The pain gone away
The emotions less violent
All calmer today
You said it means nothing
They’re just random tears
So I never did ask you
Why you cried at christmas
Time sure keeps grinding
Maybe that was your luck
a small silver lining
in now growing up
Collateral damage
But I hope you did manage
To evade losing passion
Adult empty shell
For we all lose some sparks
From the youth we so hated
Grow blunted or jaded
Are grownups the real us
Or youth the true self
Much more intense
Just aimless thinking
The question remains
I just simply call you
Do some catching up
You said it is alright
The demons in check
With everything around just right
You now smile at christmas
tumblr
So I made a pointless tumblr a while ago because it appears to be the thing at the moment. Why is a bit beyond me because when you compare it to WP the only things that stand out are the features tumblr does not have. Oh well.
Special mention goes to the three people who decided to follow this blog. If none of you are spambots, then thank you. Hasn’t happen in a goodish long while. Now I actually have to post something of substance soon. Good thing.
Take care.
retro
today a radio played an old song
send me against the wall
trapped me in nostalgia
so much welling up inside
feelings of romance and fright
memries good and bad but right
from the well they vanish to inside.
the past is just this hole which keeps on
growing all the time and then collapses
in upon itself and births
another you
the you today, the me I am
has lost connection to the things that were
but when this music trigged
memory cascade
it feels so close again
it’s not quite like regret or sadness
or romantic longing for dreams and hopes
ambitions, goals and gains that never were
and never came
like a sweetness that once was entangled
in another universe with spider webs
of jarring “well what if”‘s
which in the end is meaningless cos
the only actual happiness lies in the present
and those to come
so all this queer confusion
is the sign of a life that went on
is going on
and will turn out alright
with wounds and smiles intil the end
myriads of more what ifs
we’ll never comprehend
and that’s just fine
the puzzle
in the uneasiness of speech
lies hidden what brought them here
decades of smouldering embers
now turned into a apinful blaze
in the darting eyes lies hidden
what they refuse to confront
what froze their spines or bit their neck
silence not words
evasion of answers
deception
they show just this shell
not the ghosts they brought
who am I to argue
who am I to help
(26th Feb. 2013)
Anker
haze of dreams diffuses
the mind drags itself through mud
or is it a sea
both so dark
stuck or sinking
grasping for the warming rock
vague soothing quick a smile
it’s you for me to hold onto
when sleep sends its terrors
until they are gone
and only me and you remain
(9. Sept. 2012)
Lower the flags
A good man has passed
He has reached the last of frontiers
Lower the flags
Down to half-mast
For again the world has taken a turn for the worse
-Sentenced
In memory of Synøva, an extraordinary woman and tireless fighter for equal rights.
Schlaflos
Rote Zahlen an der Decke
Wechseln im Minutentakt
Mit dem Atmen des Kühlschranks
Tote Geräusche, lebendes Zimmer
Ein Atemzug nach dem Anderen
Herzschlag im Bauch
Dumpfe Basstöne, Stimmen der Nachbarn
Zeichen von Menschen; in dieser Kapsel
Trotzdem alleine, Sand in der Kehle
Schwer drückende Schultern
Trotz rastloser Beine
Von links bis nach rechts drehen
Gibt nur falsche Lagen
Gegen elektrische Stimmen
Gedankengemurmel
Angst die es nicht gibt
Zwang der hier nicht liegt
Druck der auch noch zieht
Leere die auch füllt
Rote Zahlen an der Decke
Die Sonne geht auf
lisra's broken mirror 